Well, since we have now been officially on a waiting list at Cincinnati Children's Hospital for six months (ugh!), and I recently added us to yet again ANOTHER waiting list at University of Virginia's Children's Hospital, and we haven't heard anything from them, I broke down and went against what I have said I would not do.
For about a month now, maybe because he is getting older, it appears that whatever takes hold of my precious boy just keeps getting worse. Sometimes to the point (and I know this is going to sound ridiculous) that his facial features change. He has become a lot more defiant, a lot more whiny (if that was possible), a lot more demanding, and worst of all, a lost LESS loving. The last one absolutely tears me apart. When you are used to receiving a million kisses a day, and now you have to ask for them, it is very hard. And I know, I know, as every "boy" grows up, the same thing happens, but this is different. Stephen is different. Everyone who has ever met Stephen knows what I mean. He is tender and extremely loving (sometimes a little, or a lot, over the top). Well, that has changed. :(
I have also noticed how it has been affecting me. I have lost a lot of my will, and I don't like this at all. I am very sad a lot and about the only thing I seem to find joy in anymore is the Lord and church. I just can't seem to shake this, and I hate it, because I want to be the best wife and mother I can be, but I am failing miserably right now.
Anyway, enough of my pity party, I am writing with good news! The answer should have been more clear a lot earlier, but I felt like I had been doing the right thing by waiting out for Cincinnati. But right now, I am honestly at a point that is not doing Stephen, Todd, or myself any good. So, yesterday, I called Stephen's pediatrician, whom I absolutely LOVE! I asked for a referral to a behavioral therapist for Stephen. The ped asked me why, and I explained some of the things that we have been dealing with. He totally got it and said that he couldn't let us go through this anymore. He is referring Stephen (and possibly mommy) to two doctor's in Charleston! He explained that they were both wonderful and trustworthy. I am very confident he means what he says.
So, I do believe there may be a glint of light at the end of the tunnel. I am not saying this will "solve" everything, because we all know that the only one who can do this is God. I am saying that this may be the beginning of finally getting Stephen the assistance he needs to succeed in life.
I love that little boy with all of my heart, mind, and soul, more than words could EVER begin to describe, and I only want to do right by him. I have said this before, and I will continue to say it - God saw fit to place Stephen in my care, and I will always be his mommy to the very best of my ability.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
I might be bald before I turn gray...
Yes, I am talking about the hair on my head. Believe it or not, it has been over a decade since I have colored my hair. Over that period, I have basically become a simplistic type person - not much maintenance required. I believe we should be happy with what the Lord gives us, and if that means gray hair and wrinkles, I am perfectly fine with that. Actually, I tell people all of the time that I cannot wait to go completely gray - crazy - I know. But I LOVE gray hair!
Now on to the real story. If I do not get some answers about my son soon, I might just start pulling my hair out. That is where I am at right now. Can you say frustration?
I have posted in the past about Stephen and some of his delays. Just when I look at him and think, maybe, just maybe I have been wrong in my self-diagnosing with him, he proves otherwise. I am not going to go into every little detail, because quite frankly, that would require an entire novel, and I am not so sure you want to hear it all. Actually, there is so much going on daily, I just don't know how to describe my son in words.
**Just a little bit of background: Stephen had some delays when he was an infant, but nothing of any significance really (i.e. late sitter, late walker). At two, his pediatrician noticed that he didn't have the "normal" vocabulary of a two year old, so they recommended Birth to Three for early intervention. They worked with him in our home for seven months, and then helped us get him into three year old Pre-K special needs, because he was still not talking on his age level. Two things I found out during this period was that Stephen has Apraxia of Speech and Proprioceptive Sensory Dysfunction. I have in fact posted links for both of these diagnoses a couple of years ago. But, through school provided speech therapy (many, many thanks to Mrs. Crystal), Stephen;s expressive vocabulary exploded when he was four...to the point that he never.quits.talking now! Wow in a good way, and WOW in a bad way. He was in Pre-K for three years, because we felt it was better to hold him back that third year because he just wasn't quite ready for kindergarten. At his six year old well visit, his pediatrician got to see him in rare form (finally). She literally had to climb up on the examining table to get away from him. He was just all over the floor, and would not be quiet long enough for her to ask him questions (for developmental reasons). She finally got the gist of what I have been working/ struggling with for years. We chatted about what she was witnessing, and then she finally said it, "I think we are dealing with many different issues, and I am going to recommend that you have him evaluated by a whole team of behavioral specialists at Cincinnati Children's Hospital."
Fast forward to present. Stephen was placed on a waiting list with CCH in November, 2011. I called yesterday and was told that they are now seeing patients who were placed on that very same wait list in June and July of 2011. Come on people! Are you serious?
Stephen is just about to finish kindergarten. This year has been somewhat of a struggle for him, his teachers, and me. His classroom is large, so there are two teachers plus an aide. As with Pre-K, the kindergarten class operates on the Stop Light System (green being great behavior, yellow being stepping out of line somewhat, and of course, red being very bad behavior), only this year they are graded on it. They are learning what every normal kindergarten class should be learning, reading, writing, and math - along with art and music. Stephen struggles, on a daily basis. He is doing much better than he did at the beginning of the year, which is not a surprise, because I am sure every child in that class had problems with adjustment at first. However, some of his delays rear their ugly heads from time to time, such as the Apraxia. Now that he has conquered his speech delay, it now totally affects his writing. And trust me, I have heard this from his teachers, as well as experienced it for myself, if he doesn't want to do work, there is no forcing him. And if he doesn't have confidence in himself, he will not even attempt some things.
January was an amazing month at school for Stephen. He was "green light" every single day of that month. I thought, wow! This could actually be his turning point...he is actually "getting" it! In February, he had some "yellow" days, but nothing major...still not complaints. But March, oh my goodness! I don't know what has happened, but his notebook that he brings home each day looks like a Christmas tree. The yellows definitely outweigh the greens. :(
I still say that much of Stephen's problems is truly because he still, at almost seven years old, has not try concept of cause and effect. This breaks my heart. He has no idea that some of the things that he does is completely, off the charts, WRONG! And when we discipline him, he just doesn't understand. He understands that he is being disciplined, but just doesn't get that he is not supposed to turn right around and continue these behaviors. I am totally at my wits end!
I am going to write something that I don't talk about often with some of my family and friends, because they don't necessarily believe me, or think I am just overreacting. I am tee-totally, 100% convinced that Stephen is somewhere on the autism spectrum - pretty sure aspergers. A lot of people who are around him say, oh, he makes eye contact, talks, and is the most loving child, and children with autism do none of the above. That is simply because they are not completely educated on the spectrum, and they just think "he is just being a boy" and "needs his butt busted." Well, come stay with us for a day or so. You will see that he does get his butt busted, put in time away, grounded, etc. Nothing phases him...NOTHING! And yes, he is loving, talks, and makes eye contact, but most of the time, because he doesn't understand limits, he is overly all of the above! And the same goes for his meltdowns. When he is having a meltdown, it is overly dramatic, and lasts for long periods of time, most of the time lashing out at Todd (my husband), Luci (my dog), mommaw, or me. He does not know his own strength, and can truly hurt us.
I don't know why I am saying all of this, and now that I have written this much, I feel like it is just rambling, or a jumbled mess...see, I told you that I didn't know how to put it in words. I guess I am just reaching out to anyone who may be reading this and asking for you to take the time to educate yourself about the autism spectrum. These children are wonderful children, but they just need extra patience, love, care, and guidance. The CDC recently (within the past two days) released that 1 in 88 children are now being diagnosed as being on the spectrum. That is a pretty staggering statistic to swallow, but think about it. Many of the children you see out in public (I am not saying all of them) may have been affected by this. It would be better if everyone had some type of knowledge about this condition instead of just jumping to the conclusion that they are just bad kids or they have bad parents.
Here is a great link if you are interested in reading:
http://www.autism-society.org/
Although we have our struggles, I wouldn't trade a thing. God saw fit to bless us with this amazing boy because He knew we could handle it! I thank Him for that daily!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now on to the real story. If I do not get some answers about my son soon, I might just start pulling my hair out. That is where I am at right now. Can you say frustration?
I have posted in the past about Stephen and some of his delays. Just when I look at him and think, maybe, just maybe I have been wrong in my self-diagnosing with him, he proves otherwise. I am not going to go into every little detail, because quite frankly, that would require an entire novel, and I am not so sure you want to hear it all. Actually, there is so much going on daily, I just don't know how to describe my son in words.
**Just a little bit of background: Stephen had some delays when he was an infant, but nothing of any significance really (i.e. late sitter, late walker). At two, his pediatrician noticed that he didn't have the "normal" vocabulary of a two year old, so they recommended Birth to Three for early intervention. They worked with him in our home for seven months, and then helped us get him into three year old Pre-K special needs, because he was still not talking on his age level. Two things I found out during this period was that Stephen has Apraxia of Speech and Proprioceptive Sensory Dysfunction. I have in fact posted links for both of these diagnoses a couple of years ago. But, through school provided speech therapy (many, many thanks to Mrs. Crystal), Stephen;s expressive vocabulary exploded when he was four...to the point that he never.quits.talking now! Wow in a good way, and WOW in a bad way. He was in Pre-K for three years, because we felt it was better to hold him back that third year because he just wasn't quite ready for kindergarten. At his six year old well visit, his pediatrician got to see him in rare form (finally). She literally had to climb up on the examining table to get away from him. He was just all over the floor, and would not be quiet long enough for her to ask him questions (for developmental reasons). She finally got the gist of what I have been working/ struggling with for years. We chatted about what she was witnessing, and then she finally said it, "I think we are dealing with many different issues, and I am going to recommend that you have him evaluated by a whole team of behavioral specialists at Cincinnati Children's Hospital."
Fast forward to present. Stephen was placed on a waiting list with CCH in November, 2011. I called yesterday and was told that they are now seeing patients who were placed on that very same wait list in June and July of 2011. Come on people! Are you serious?
Stephen is just about to finish kindergarten. This year has been somewhat of a struggle for him, his teachers, and me. His classroom is large, so there are two teachers plus an aide. As with Pre-K, the kindergarten class operates on the Stop Light System (green being great behavior, yellow being stepping out of line somewhat, and of course, red being very bad behavior), only this year they are graded on it. They are learning what every normal kindergarten class should be learning, reading, writing, and math - along with art and music. Stephen struggles, on a daily basis. He is doing much better than he did at the beginning of the year, which is not a surprise, because I am sure every child in that class had problems with adjustment at first. However, some of his delays rear their ugly heads from time to time, such as the Apraxia. Now that he has conquered his speech delay, it now totally affects his writing. And trust me, I have heard this from his teachers, as well as experienced it for myself, if he doesn't want to do work, there is no forcing him. And if he doesn't have confidence in himself, he will not even attempt some things.
January was an amazing month at school for Stephen. He was "green light" every single day of that month. I thought, wow! This could actually be his turning point...he is actually "getting" it! In February, he had some "yellow" days, but nothing major...still not complaints. But March, oh my goodness! I don't know what has happened, but his notebook that he brings home each day looks like a Christmas tree. The yellows definitely outweigh the greens. :(
I still say that much of Stephen's problems is truly because he still, at almost seven years old, has not try concept of cause and effect. This breaks my heart. He has no idea that some of the things that he does is completely, off the charts, WRONG! And when we discipline him, he just doesn't understand. He understands that he is being disciplined, but just doesn't get that he is not supposed to turn right around and continue these behaviors. I am totally at my wits end!
I am going to write something that I don't talk about often with some of my family and friends, because they don't necessarily believe me, or think I am just overreacting. I am tee-totally, 100% convinced that Stephen is somewhere on the autism spectrum - pretty sure aspergers. A lot of people who are around him say, oh, he makes eye contact, talks, and is the most loving child, and children with autism do none of the above. That is simply because they are not completely educated on the spectrum, and they just think "he is just being a boy" and "needs his butt busted." Well, come stay with us for a day or so. You will see that he does get his butt busted, put in time away, grounded, etc. Nothing phases him...NOTHING! And yes, he is loving, talks, and makes eye contact, but most of the time, because he doesn't understand limits, he is overly all of the above! And the same goes for his meltdowns. When he is having a meltdown, it is overly dramatic, and lasts for long periods of time, most of the time lashing out at Todd (my husband), Luci (my dog), mommaw, or me. He does not know his own strength, and can truly hurt us.
I don't know why I am saying all of this, and now that I have written this much, I feel like it is just rambling, or a jumbled mess...see, I told you that I didn't know how to put it in words. I guess I am just reaching out to anyone who may be reading this and asking for you to take the time to educate yourself about the autism spectrum. These children are wonderful children, but they just need extra patience, love, care, and guidance. The CDC recently (within the past two days) released that 1 in 88 children are now being diagnosed as being on the spectrum. That is a pretty staggering statistic to swallow, but think about it. Many of the children you see out in public (I am not saying all of them) may have been affected by this. It would be better if everyone had some type of knowledge about this condition instead of just jumping to the conclusion that they are just bad kids or they have bad parents.
Here is a great link if you are interested in reading:
http://www.autism-society.org/
Although we have our struggles, I wouldn't trade a thing. God saw fit to bless us with this amazing boy because He knew we could handle it! I thank Him for that daily!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Okay folks...WE DID IT!
**RE POST from February 10, 2011 with an update!
As of Friday, March 23, 2012 - WE ARE DEBT FREE!
Whew! This has been 29 months in the works, but we actually followed through, which is why I felt it pretty significant to re post the original entry. Many people, me being included, start out on different (ad)ventures, having a long term goal, and because it is a long term goal, give up. However, I am proud to say that because of my awesome husband, we have conquered our debt! We have (kind of) lived like no one else, so we can LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE!
Over the last 29 months, there have certainly been highs, lows, struggles, but most of all, the feeling of accomplishment. The beauty with this plan is if you happen to be an "instant gratification" kind of person such as I, those feelings of accomplishment come fairly frequently - each time you sign your name to that check or hit "send" on the computer for that final payment of each debt! Words cannot adequately explain what that feeling is like for us, and I cannot wait until this Friday, to make that final payment. And yes, I am writing this two days before it happens, so many of you might be thinking "well, what if it doesn't happen?" That is the absolute beauty with Dave Ramsey's plan. We are planned to the penny, and we are CERTAIN it will happen! Even in the event of a crisis...remember...emergency fund!
So, having said all of that, I really need to express some gratitude. First, I am so thankful for God for allowing us to be diligent throughout this process; for providing jobs for Todd and me, plus extra earning opportunities. Thank you to my wonderful husband for pushing me when I wanted to quit, for hanging in there when I totally screwed up, and for not divorcing me when I screamed at him.
And a HUGE thank you to Dave Ramsey - For sharing your simple thoughts with HUGE impacts! Because you took the time to sit down and write these thoughts into a book, which has now become your empire, you have changed our lives forever. You often said that people would look at us like we were crazy, and yes, I can totally understand that now, because it happened quite a lot, but now I can look back at those people and tell them that it worked! It is not just a temporary fix, it is permanent, because we say so!
We are currently working with Dave's team to set a date that Todd, Stephen, and I can go to Nashville again. This time, we will be going to Dave Ramsey's studio to proclaim the long awaited words - WE ARE DEBT FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re-post...
Really should be working...
Right. Work. What I get paid to do. However, I am just not feeling it today. I am so excited about getting this blog started that all I want to do is play on here! :) I am not only posting, but finding extremely good blogs to follow!Someone, please stop this insanity that has overtaken me! After our visit to Nashville this weekend, something strange happened to me. Now I am not only facebooking, O-M-Gosh, I have registered for an account on twitter, and now I am blogging again! I must be losing my mind.
It has to be from this experience in Nashville. I just got so pumped up, I cannot help myself! If you are not my friend on facebook, you have no idea what I am talking about. If you are my friend on facebook, you probably have some idea, so you are going to hear the whole story...trust me, it is worth sharing!
About a year and a half ago, my husband mentioned the name "Dave Ramsey" to me. At the time, it didn't really mean anything. Little did I know, Dave Ramsey is the epitome of the term "financial genius." So, Todd started doing his homework, and I downloaded Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover (TMMO)to my Kindle. Our journey began the last week of October, 2009.
Todd and I both knew we made good money, but as many of us can say, we could not show you where our money was going. We were making it, but had nothing left over to show for it. And it is not that we couldn't manage our money, we just didn't.
With every page of the TMMO, I found myself saying to myself, "oh gosh Robin, you know that," "you can do that," "duh." So, Todd and I sat back down together and decided as a family that we were going forward to become debt free! Yeah right, you may be thinking, but Dave's motto is "Live like no one else, so you can Live like no one else."
The TMMO includes 7 baby steps.
(In my words):
1. Emergency fund of $1,000
2. Debt snowball
3. 3-6 month living expenses emergency fund
4. Invest 15% of your income for retirement
5. College savings for your children
6. Pay off your home
7. Building wealth
Seems a little overwhelming, right? Well, we are currently at baby step 2, and yes, at times, it has been overwhelming...but so worth it!
It took us a month to reach baby step one. Then came the budget. Ugh! The very thought of that gave me nightmares! But then we wrote everything down on paper, wow! We really do make good money (not bragging, it was a wake up call). Our next step was to write down our debt from smallest owed to largest -- NOT BY INTEREST RATE! That was extremely depressing. Even though we didn't have a lot of debt, we had A LOT of DEBT!
Our budget has to be what I call a zero balance budget. That means that after you right down everything you pay out a month in bills, you leave in the bank, then what you need for living expenses (i.e. gas, groceries, babysitter, etc.), comes out in cash. Your checking account is solely used for bills, not to carry over money, because during this process, you do not carry over money. Scary, huh?
Any extra money that you have during the month is paid on that smallest bill. After that is paid off, you take all of that money and apply it to your second smallest bill. It begins a snowball effect which gets larger and larger every time you pay something off. See, pretty much common sense. AND IT WORKS! To date, we have paid $42,000 of debt. Yes, you read that correctly. In 14 1/2 months, we have paid that much money toward our debt snowball. Like I said, even though I may have thought we were not in debt, yeah, I was wrong! We still have about 14 months to go, but we are getting there. And trust me, it gets easier after the adjustment period of about 3 - 4 months.
So that is the background. Now about how Nashville gave me such an epiphany to become more socially connected. Todd asked me several months ago if I would be interested in seeing Dave Ramsey in person. Oh, you don't have to ask me twice, where do I sign up?
This past weekend, we had the privilege of sitting second row at a five hour live Dave Ramsey show! Yes, I said f-i-v-e hour...and I would have stayed another five hours! This man is so energetic and charismatic! Whew! I wanted to jump up and shout. Wait a second, I did jump up and shout, several times!
Even though we have been living this program for over a year, the show brought it to a whole new level for me. Dave does not take credit for any of his ideas! He said - several times - that he got all of his ideas from God and grandma, and that he is just a good teacher. Wow! That was simply amazing to me. He quoted scripture, talked about the importance and power of prayer, told everyone if they hadn't talked to God in a while, they needed to because God missed them. Isn't that the truth? There were 10,000 people at this conference, so 10,000 people heard his message!
Dave Ramsey tweets, as I have now discovered that many people or groups tweet. About the only thing I will ever "tweet" is this blog, but it is nice to open it up and be inspired several times a day. It also was one of the pressing factors for me to start blogging again. If I can touch someones life in any positive way, even if it is just one person, I want to do that!
I could write forever about him and this program, but I won't. I just wanted to share a little portion of the wonderful program that everyone could do, if they need or want to. You can learn more about all of his programs by visiting http://www.daveramsey.com/.
And now you have more information than you ever wanted to know, but when I mention TMMO or Dave Ramsey in my posts, you will know what I am talking about! :)
Thursday, March 15, 2012
The weather, not just what it happens to be doing outside...
Good morning! I am hoping the day gets better here :( The mood in my house
was much like the weather outside...dark and angry.
My sweet boy has entered yet another episode of anger, and lashing out about everything for the last two days. It breaks my heart when he is like this, because nothing seems to make him "happy."
His moods are so much like the weather, but I am not saying they correspond to what the weather is like outside on any given day. Monday evening was absolutely
amazing with him (the calm before the storm). We played, laughed, didn't raise our voices at all...it was GREAT! Tuesday he just had a really rough evening, falling and injuring himself several times (like a weather front, maybe it is coming your way, maybe it's not). Then last night - and carried over this morning, he has been a complete bear (like a raging thunderstorm). Screaming at me, crying, whining, not wanting to go to bed, not wanting to get out of bed this morning...ugh!
Much like when it is storming outside and you/ I want to cuddle up on the couch, when Stephen is in these types of moods, I just want to hold him as tight as I can for as long as I can.
After the real storm passes this morning, it is supposed to be sunny and absolutely beautiful, so that is what I am hoping for my son's mood also.
Always blessed - no matter the storm!
was much like the weather outside...dark and angry.
My sweet boy has entered yet another episode of anger, and lashing out about everything for the last two days. It breaks my heart when he is like this, because nothing seems to make him "happy."
His moods are so much like the weather, but I am not saying they correspond to what the weather is like outside on any given day. Monday evening was absolutely
amazing with him (the calm before the storm). We played, laughed, didn't raise our voices at all...it was GREAT! Tuesday he just had a really rough evening, falling and injuring himself several times (like a weather front, maybe it is coming your way, maybe it's not). Then last night - and carried over this morning, he has been a complete bear (like a raging thunderstorm). Screaming at me, crying, whining, not wanting to go to bed, not wanting to get out of bed this morning...ugh!
Much like when it is storming outside and you/ I want to cuddle up on the couch, when Stephen is in these types of moods, I just want to hold him as tight as I can for as long as I can.
After the real storm passes this morning, it is supposed to be sunny and absolutely beautiful, so that is what I am hoping for my son's mood also.
Always blessed - no matter the storm!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Thursday and a new day...
I have been totally swamped lately, and haven't had a chance to really write a thing! But maybe that is a good thing, because I have really been in an absolute horrible mood. My emotions have definitely been a roller coaster as of late, but I am going to change that - MANDATORY change - MYSELF!
It has to be the Lupron, because I truly have lost all of my ambition. My house is a wreck, I don't want to fix my hair, I don't want to deal with stupid people, and worst of all, I have kind of lost my desire to come to work. All of these things are normal for me - EXCEPT THE LAST! And for some reason, my level of "normalcy" seems to be extremely amplified, if you know what I mean. If you don't know what I mean, I will explain. The first three things I listed are normal feelings for me, but I usually push through them and deal. The last couple of weeks, that has totally been out of the question!
I am normally a very optimistic person - cup half full or overflowing. I want to get back to that...I am going to get back to that! It is the least I can do for people who have to deal with me on a daily basis! I have really been down, and unable to even put together a comprehendible sentence. I feel like I am bi-polar (which I did mention in a post a long time ago - remember - self-diagnosed, haha!)
Anyway, there are some good things happening in my life that I must start focusing on! Mom got a summer job, and Stephen is going to a new babysitter for 8 weeks. This should be great for both of them, even though my poor mom doesn't want to admit it. I honestly think she is going to love this position, though! She will be working for Children's Home Society at their "home" for unplaced children. That is her element. She is great with kids! And the girlie that will be baysitting Stephen is going to be perfect. God certainly worked this out!
And tonight, hopefully, my wonderful Uncle Terry is going to come and stay a few days with us! His family went on a school trip, so he wants to make a visit and hang out with us for the weekend. I am soooooooo excited! I need this family time! <3
One more great thing happened. We paid off my jeep last week one year early! Three more debts, and we will be calling Dave Ramsey and screaming "WE ARE DEBT FREEEEEEE!!!"
See, as I have said before, God is with us on the tops of mountains, but He is always with us in our lowest valleys. He is there to walk with us, or carry us if necessary, and then He pulls us out of those valleys to find wonderful blessings flowing! Thank you God for everything you do in my life, and the life of my friends and family! You truly bless us!
It has to be the Lupron, because I truly have lost all of my ambition. My house is a wreck, I don't want to fix my hair, I don't want to deal with stupid people, and worst of all, I have kind of lost my desire to come to work. All of these things are normal for me - EXCEPT THE LAST! And for some reason, my level of "normalcy" seems to be extremely amplified, if you know what I mean. If you don't know what I mean, I will explain. The first three things I listed are normal feelings for me, but I usually push through them and deal. The last couple of weeks, that has totally been out of the question!
I am normally a very optimistic person - cup half full or overflowing. I want to get back to that...I am going to get back to that! It is the least I can do for people who have to deal with me on a daily basis! I have really been down, and unable to even put together a comprehendible sentence. I feel like I am bi-polar (which I did mention in a post a long time ago - remember - self-diagnosed, haha!)
Anyway, there are some good things happening in my life that I must start focusing on! Mom got a summer job, and Stephen is going to a new babysitter for 8 weeks. This should be great for both of them, even though my poor mom doesn't want to admit it. I honestly think she is going to love this position, though! She will be working for Children's Home Society at their "home" for unplaced children. That is her element. She is great with kids! And the girlie that will be baysitting Stephen is going to be perfect. God certainly worked this out!
And tonight, hopefully, my wonderful Uncle Terry is going to come and stay a few days with us! His family went on a school trip, so he wants to make a visit and hang out with us for the weekend. I am soooooooo excited! I need this family time! <3
One more great thing happened. We paid off my jeep last week one year early! Three more debts, and we will be calling Dave Ramsey and screaming "WE ARE DEBT FREEEEEEE!!!"
See, as I have said before, God is with us on the tops of mountains, but He is always with us in our lowest valleys. He is there to walk with us, or carry us if necessary, and then He pulls us out of those valleys to find wonderful blessings flowing! Thank you God for everything you do in my life, and the life of my friends and family! You truly bless us!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Something to look forward to...
You know, God promises many things to those who follow Him. His promises are the only ones that you can actually count on, because man can promise until he is blue in the face and most of the time always falls short!
When I am having a day like I am today, it always makes me feel a little better to pretend that God has promised me one more thing (which this is COMPLETELY make believe):
That I will be able to stand behind certain people on Judgment Day!
As a Christian, I know better than this! It is even a pretty evil thought, and I should be praying for these people. And I know, love the sinner, not the sin. But come on, I am flesh. Sometimes I just cannot fight the feeling of wanting to see what happens to some people on "that" day! Call it justification, unchristian like, whatever you want, I.can't.help.it!
I know that salvation is freewill, and everyone has the opportunity to secure it and live eternally with our Heavenly Father. But, I do also believe there are certain people who have already reserved their spot in hell. I don't get it, because life is so much better if you live it loving God.
Why do people intentionally set out to hurt people. Or maybe they are just so pompous that they don't "set out" to do that, it just comes naturally. I would really hate to be those people. What a sad, sad existence!
I find that my most common phrase to myself and to a lot of people is "I just don't understand it." Well, that is a whole post in itself, and I have fought myself for weeks about composing it. I am just not ready for that, because it annoys the crap out of me.
Anyway, about the title of this post, I do have something to look forward to! I know without a shadow of a doubt, that when I stand before the Lord on "that day," He will say "Well done, my good and faithful servant." 2 Timothy 4:7-8 (7) I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: (8) Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.
I am promised that I don't have to deal with revenge. He has a plan, He ALWAYS has a plan! Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
I serve an amazing God. There is nothing I can do to ever repay what He has done and continues to do in my life. I know sometimes my fleshly thoughts hurt Him, but I know I can call on Him and seek forgiveness and He will never turn His back on me. Thank you Lord!
When I am having a day like I am today, it always makes me feel a little better to pretend that God has promised me one more thing (which this is COMPLETELY make believe):
That I will be able to stand behind certain people on Judgment Day!
As a Christian, I know better than this! It is even a pretty evil thought, and I should be praying for these people. And I know, love the sinner, not the sin. But come on, I am flesh. Sometimes I just cannot fight the feeling of wanting to see what happens to some people on "that" day! Call it justification, unchristian like, whatever you want, I.can't.help.it!
I know that salvation is freewill, and everyone has the opportunity to secure it and live eternally with our Heavenly Father. But, I do also believe there are certain people who have already reserved their spot in hell. I don't get it, because life is so much better if you live it loving God.
Why do people intentionally set out to hurt people. Or maybe they are just so pompous that they don't "set out" to do that, it just comes naturally. I would really hate to be those people. What a sad, sad existence!
I find that my most common phrase to myself and to a lot of people is "I just don't understand it." Well, that is a whole post in itself, and I have fought myself for weeks about composing it. I am just not ready for that, because it annoys the crap out of me.
Anyway, about the title of this post, I do have something to look forward to! I know without a shadow of a doubt, that when I stand before the Lord on "that day," He will say "Well done, my good and faithful servant." 2 Timothy 4:7-8 (7) I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: (8) Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.
I am promised that I don't have to deal with revenge. He has a plan, He ALWAYS has a plan! Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
I serve an amazing God. There is nothing I can do to ever repay what He has done and continues to do in my life. I know sometimes my fleshly thoughts hurt Him, but I know I can call on Him and seek forgiveness and He will never turn His back on me. Thank you Lord!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Emotional weekend that has carried over...
**I almost just deleted this post, but feel the need to publish it. I started composing this on Tuesday, and never finished. It is now Thursday, and I will pick up where I left off and finish out what this week has meant for the Taylor household.
Sunday and yesterday have to be classified in my world as the worst parenting days of the (almost) six years I have been blessed with Stephen. I don't know what is going on with him, but if something doesn't change soon, I think I am seriously going to lose my mind!
It all started after Sunday School, because he was such a good boy during that time. I had to run to Michael's to pick up some yarn, and he and Todd drove around while I ran in. When I got back into the car, he still wasn't bad, but I could tell his personality/ mood had changed significantly.
**I should probably pre-empt this message to explain that since the weather has began to warm, Stephen has convinced himself that he MUST be playing with the neighborhood kids at all times! While he is at mom's, there are several little kids that either come over or he goes to their house. And as soon as we hit our driveway in the evening, he bolts out of the car and out of the yard to one of our many neighbor's houses. Although mom nor I have a problem with him playing with any of these kids, because they are all great kids, there are several issues I have with this.
1. Stephen has been lashing out and getting in trouble at school. He should not have privileges to play with other kids after school. This should be a time for discipline and making him understand why.
2. There needs to be limits on the times each day he can have company. We all need time to do our daily tasks, but getting Stephen to grasp this concept seems absolutely impossible.
3. I would like for just one time to be able to pull into our driveway, get him out of the car, enter my house, change clothes, and cook dinner without the interruption of having to chase him throughout the neighborhood!
I know what some of you are probably thinking. Who is the adult here? Well, let me tell you, come live in my house one of these evenings and see how hard it is to control a child that has no concept of cause and effect. I can whip him, switch him, put him in time away, take away his television, try to keep him from leaving the inside of the house...NOTHING WORKS!
I am not saying that Stephen is a bad child. As most of you know, he is very loving and caring. But for the last two weeks, especially the last two days, it has been constant disobedience! And not only at home, he has been in trouble in school for the last two weeks. I can't remember when he had his last good day.
My heart is breaking! Determining what to do next has been the biggest struggle for me. I have waited patiently for him to "grow out of this." Unfortunately, it just hasn't happened. Each year, I find myself daydreaming that "next year will be better" as far as being able to take him in public and not having to suffer through temper tantrums, screaming and crying. Well, here we are in almost year six, and I have yet to be able to enjoy a day out with him. That is why I have always truly preferred to just stay at home behind our locked doors. That was our little respite, my relief.
That now has been taken away from me, too, because of what I have explained above. The thought of running away (all of us) to a place where no one knows us has crossed my mind. That way, we can just find us plenty of property somewhere, and Stephen can have all the room outside to roam and play, but we won't have to deal with this feeling of him ALWAYS having to have someone to play with.
This is so selfish of me! I hate that I have those feelings. And I will NEVER keep him from his friends. But I truly feel like I can't take much more. I just wish he could realize that us adults have things we absolutely have to take care of before he can play! There are a lot of things I wish he could "understand," but he just doesn't right now.
**Picking up from here...
Todd and I, along with our mother's, have cried and cried this week. It has been an extremely long, hard, emotional week for all of us. Decisions have been made. And they have been prayerfully made. I am confident in our Lord that He has put us on the right path, and now our burdens are in His hands. He would have never blessed us with our precious boy if He didn't deem us fit to be the parents of a special needs child. For that, I am forever grateful! Praise His Holy Name!!!!!
It is easy to praise God when your up on that mountain, but do you praise Him when you are down in the lowest valley? You know what - I DO!
Sunday and yesterday have to be classified in my world as the worst parenting days of the (almost) six years I have been blessed with Stephen. I don't know what is going on with him, but if something doesn't change soon, I think I am seriously going to lose my mind!
It all started after Sunday School, because he was such a good boy during that time. I had to run to Michael's to pick up some yarn, and he and Todd drove around while I ran in. When I got back into the car, he still wasn't bad, but I could tell his personality/ mood had changed significantly.
**I should probably pre-empt this message to explain that since the weather has began to warm, Stephen has convinced himself that he MUST be playing with the neighborhood kids at all times! While he is at mom's, there are several little kids that either come over or he goes to their house. And as soon as we hit our driveway in the evening, he bolts out of the car and out of the yard to one of our many neighbor's houses. Although mom nor I have a problem with him playing with any of these kids, because they are all great kids, there are several issues I have with this.
1. Stephen has been lashing out and getting in trouble at school. He should not have privileges to play with other kids after school. This should be a time for discipline and making him understand why.
2. There needs to be limits on the times each day he can have company. We all need time to do our daily tasks, but getting Stephen to grasp this concept seems absolutely impossible.
3. I would like for just one time to be able to pull into our driveway, get him out of the car, enter my house, change clothes, and cook dinner without the interruption of having to chase him throughout the neighborhood!
I know what some of you are probably thinking. Who is the adult here? Well, let me tell you, come live in my house one of these evenings and see how hard it is to control a child that has no concept of cause and effect. I can whip him, switch him, put him in time away, take away his television, try to keep him from leaving the inside of the house...NOTHING WORKS!
I am not saying that Stephen is a bad child. As most of you know, he is very loving and caring. But for the last two weeks, especially the last two days, it has been constant disobedience! And not only at home, he has been in trouble in school for the last two weeks. I can't remember when he had his last good day.
My heart is breaking! Determining what to do next has been the biggest struggle for me. I have waited patiently for him to "grow out of this." Unfortunately, it just hasn't happened. Each year, I find myself daydreaming that "next year will be better" as far as being able to take him in public and not having to suffer through temper tantrums, screaming and crying. Well, here we are in almost year six, and I have yet to be able to enjoy a day out with him. That is why I have always truly preferred to just stay at home behind our locked doors. That was our little respite, my relief.
That now has been taken away from me, too, because of what I have explained above. The thought of running away (all of us) to a place where no one knows us has crossed my mind. That way, we can just find us plenty of property somewhere, and Stephen can have all the room outside to roam and play, but we won't have to deal with this feeling of him ALWAYS having to have someone to play with.
This is so selfish of me! I hate that I have those feelings. And I will NEVER keep him from his friends. But I truly feel like I can't take much more. I just wish he could realize that us adults have things we absolutely have to take care of before he can play! There are a lot of things I wish he could "understand," but he just doesn't right now.
**Picking up from here...
Todd and I, along with our mother's, have cried and cried this week. It has been an extremely long, hard, emotional week for all of us. Decisions have been made. And they have been prayerfully made. I am confident in our Lord that He has put us on the right path, and now our burdens are in His hands. He would have never blessed us with our precious boy if He didn't deem us fit to be the parents of a special needs child. For that, I am forever grateful! Praise His Holy Name!!!!!
It is easy to praise God when your up on that mountain, but do you praise Him when you are down in the lowest valley? You know what - I DO!
Friday, April 29, 2011
It's Friday...
So why am I in a funk? I honestly think it is because I have been so busy this week, I haven't been able to let any of my creative juices out! Actually, I have had to keep them bottled up for about two weeks now. Ugh!
That is about to change after work. Tonight, I have two cakes to make and decorate, and have to make potato salad. This will all happen of course after I make dinner (which is just simply chicken enchiladas - nothing creative). Needless to say, I am getting ready to have a cup of coffee to physically prepare for a long evening.
What I am most excited about is this...
This is a baby blanket called "Tree of Life," and I am gonna start it for my cousin whom I just found out is pregnant! I.cannot.wait! Isn't is just breathtaking? Thank you Lion Brand for free patterns!
I will post pictures throughout the process of making this blanket. Although, fair warning, it is a knit pattern, so it will probably take me several months to complete it! Thank God I found out when she is only 4 months along!
I also want to mention one of the cakes I am doing tonight is for a very special occasion. My uncle and aunt's 40th wedding anniversary! My aunt absolutely LOVES fondant, so I am making them a small fondant covered cake to enjoy on their special day. Happy Anniversary Frank & Sari! I love you both very much.
Hope everyone has a great and creative weekend!
That is about to change after work. Tonight, I have two cakes to make and decorate, and have to make potato salad. This will all happen of course after I make dinner (which is just simply chicken enchiladas - nothing creative). Needless to say, I am getting ready to have a cup of coffee to physically prepare for a long evening.
What I am most excited about is this...
This is a baby blanket called "Tree of Life," and I am gonna start it for my cousin whom I just found out is pregnant! I.cannot.wait! Isn't is just breathtaking? Thank you Lion Brand for free patterns!
I will post pictures throughout the process of making this blanket. Although, fair warning, it is a knit pattern, so it will probably take me several months to complete it! Thank God I found out when she is only 4 months along!
I also want to mention one of the cakes I am doing tonight is for a very special occasion. My uncle and aunt's 40th wedding anniversary! My aunt absolutely LOVES fondant, so I am making them a small fondant covered cake to enjoy on their special day. Happy Anniversary Frank & Sari! I love you both very much.
Hope everyone has a great and creative weekend!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
The best gift to give on Resurrection Sunday...
I have never been a very good gift buyer for a couple of reasons:
1. I.HATE.SHOPPING!
2. I cannot keep a secret, so if I buy something even a day before an event, I am gonna give it - never fails!
It always makes me laugh that holidays, especially "HOLYdays" have become so commercialized. It wouldn't be so bad if more people recognized and honored the true meaning of some of these HOLYdays instead of just using them as another excuse to party, spend money, give gifts, etc. And no, I am not judging, I am just inspecting a little fruit! :)
I am not saying that gift giving should not happen, because I have always been a partaker of the spirit of Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny, they are fun and magical. However, since I had Stephen, we have always explained to him (even though he is still young, but because it is VERY important), that Jesus provides everything for us, and without Him, we would not even have Christmas and Easter to celebrate. Isn't that the truth, without His birth, there would be no Christmas - and there would be NO SALVATION! And without Him dying on the cross and rising again the third day, there would be no Easter - and there would be NO SALVATION! Wow! Thank you Lord for what you have done!
Today, Todd and I made a very serious purchase. This has to be the best thing we have ever gotten Stephen! And probably the most important gift (other than salvation) he will ever get in his lifetime.
His first official Bible! King James Version Study Bible for Boys! Absolutely cannot wait to give it to him. He is going to be so excited!
What better gift to receive on Easter, RESURRECTION DAY!
I hope each of you take time this Sunday to reflect on the true HOLYday. Have a great weekend!
1. I.HATE.SHOPPING!
2. I cannot keep a secret, so if I buy something even a day before an event, I am gonna give it - never fails!
It always makes me laugh that holidays, especially "HOLYdays" have become so commercialized. It wouldn't be so bad if more people recognized and honored the true meaning of some of these HOLYdays instead of just using them as another excuse to party, spend money, give gifts, etc. And no, I am not judging, I am just inspecting a little fruit! :)
I am not saying that gift giving should not happen, because I have always been a partaker of the spirit of Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny, they are fun and magical. However, since I had Stephen, we have always explained to him (even though he is still young, but because it is VERY important), that Jesus provides everything for us, and without Him, we would not even have Christmas and Easter to celebrate. Isn't that the truth, without His birth, there would be no Christmas - and there would be NO SALVATION! And without Him dying on the cross and rising again the third day, there would be no Easter - and there would be NO SALVATION! Wow! Thank you Lord for what you have done!
Today, Todd and I made a very serious purchase. This has to be the best thing we have ever gotten Stephen! And probably the most important gift (other than salvation) he will ever get in his lifetime.
His first official Bible! King James Version Study Bible for Boys! Absolutely cannot wait to give it to him. He is going to be so excited!
What better gift to receive on Easter, RESURRECTION DAY!
I hope each of you take time this Sunday to reflect on the true HOLYday. Have a great weekend!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Spring is here...
Yay! My favorite season of all. I know that a few years ago, when I started this blog, I posted about Spring. I just LOVE it!
Talk about renewing! Whew! Today is absolutely gorgeous! There is no doubt in my mind that God created Spring as a reminder that we need to die out to our sins and renew ourselves daily.
There is nothing more breathtaking than to walk outside in early Spring and see the buds on the trees, flowers blooming, smell the fresh cut grass...mmmm! Whether you acknowledge it or not, that is God speaking to us. He is showing and telling us many things with Spring.
Even though things seem to die through the winter months, with a little sunlight and warmth, all things can become new and beautiful again. Much like our lives, we may go through deep, dark, dreary times in our lives, but with a little "sonlight," we also can become new and beautiful again.
I will leave you with a picture I took the other day. Although the sun was not shining, and it was still a little cool outside, the flowers say it all! God loves us, that is for sure!
Spring is here, Spring is here, it's the best time of the year!
Spring is here, Spring is here, IT'S THE BEST TIME OF THE YEAR!
Talk about renewing! Whew! Today is absolutely gorgeous! There is no doubt in my mind that God created Spring as a reminder that we need to die out to our sins and renew ourselves daily.
There is nothing more breathtaking than to walk outside in early Spring and see the buds on the trees, flowers blooming, smell the fresh cut grass...mmmm! Whether you acknowledge it or not, that is God speaking to us. He is showing and telling us many things with Spring.
Even though things seem to die through the winter months, with a little sunlight and warmth, all things can become new and beautiful again. Much like our lives, we may go through deep, dark, dreary times in our lives, but with a little "sonlight," we also can become new and beautiful again.
I will leave you with a picture I took the other day. Although the sun was not shining, and it was still a little cool outside, the flowers say it all! God loves us, that is for sure!
Spring is here, Spring is here, it's the best time of the year!
Spring is here, Spring is here, IT'S THE BEST TIME OF THE YEAR!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Mood swings...
I said I would be posting periodically about my journey through Lupron. Wow! Today has been a day to say the least. Like someone who has been through this already stated to me yesterday, "someone drops a paperclip and it makes you want to kill someone." EXACTLY!
Between being absolutely worn out, and now these horrid mood swings (and just a reminder, today is only my second week of a six month journey), I am already afraid people think I am nuts! Okay, maybe I am, but until now I was able to keep it under wraps mostly of the time!
I personally think I would like the hot flashes as opposed to this rollercoaster, but who knows. Check back in a couple of weeks and see if I am eating my words!
Between being absolutely worn out, and now these horrid mood swings (and just a reminder, today is only my second week of a six month journey), I am already afraid people think I am nuts! Okay, maybe I am, but until now I was able to keep it under wraps mostly of the time!
I personally think I would like the hot flashes as opposed to this rollercoaster, but who knows. Check back in a couple of weeks and see if I am eating my words!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
A year ago today...
A year ago today, just another ordinary day. Little did any of us know what kind of day it would really turn out to be. I was teaching cake decorating at the Culture Center. My phone rang, and it was my mom. No one ever called me during cake class, so I knew something wasn't right. She called to tell me that there had been a mine explosion, and it was more than likely the mine where my Uncle Boone worked, other than that, she did not know anything else. She said that a reporter from the Today Show had contacted her for information, stating that they had "heard" that Howard (Boone) Payne had been confirmed as being trapped in the mine. First and foremost, how in the world did they know to contact my mom? Very strange! But mom ended up telling them that they really needed to contact Boone's immediate family.
On my way home from cake class, I called Erica, which is Boone's daughter. She confirmed that it was indeed the Upper Big Branch mine, and much to our disbelief, Boone was inside. No one still knew what was really going on at that time, so we didn't know how tragic the events would end up.
This year I have seen my family struggle with grief, anger, acceptance, guilt, and turmoil. I want them to know that these feelings are all normal, and I, as thousands of others are, praying for them daily! My heart is heavy for them, especially today!
I want to share some scripture to hopefully encourage them as they face today. Remember, God has promised that we can all be together again. He has also promised never to leave you and also to be your comforter.
Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Psalm 34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart, and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Matthew 5:4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
On my way home from cake class, I called Erica, which is Boone's daughter. She confirmed that it was indeed the Upper Big Branch mine, and much to our disbelief, Boone was inside. No one still knew what was really going on at that time, so we didn't know how tragic the events would end up.
This year I have seen my family struggle with grief, anger, acceptance, guilt, and turmoil. I want them to know that these feelings are all normal, and I, as thousands of others are, praying for them daily! My heart is heavy for them, especially today!
I want to share some scripture to hopefully encourage them as they face today. Remember, God has promised that we can all be together again. He has also promised never to leave you and also to be your comforter.
Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Psalm 34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart, and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Matthew 5:4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
In Memory of Howard "Boone" Payne
May you rest in peace I love you Erica, Jeremy, Jason, Amanda, and Debbie!!!
Monday, April 4, 2011
The light at the end of the tunnel...
Well, not really, but at least a little break for now! My life has been utterly chaotic for the past couple of week! So, I thought I would take this opportunity to actually write something so you all don't think I am a total slacker, or get bored checking in to see there is nothing new!
First, an update on the Lupron since I gave it so much hype before I started it, and haven't mentioned it since. I think that might be a blessing, because it hasn't been too bad yet. Not that I haven't had my moments, and I must remember, I am only two weeks into it.
The sides effects I have had so far include very brief hot flashes - which mostly occur during the morning as I am getting ready for work. I have had others throughout the day, but they come and go very quickly. And then there is the moodiness! Yikes. I really can't brag about not being moody (trust me, ask Todd). I only pray that deep down, Todd has some level of understanding. I can just be trolling along, happy as can be, and then *snap*, I feel like I could literally rip someones head off! And just as fast as it comes, it goes. THANK GOD!
Another thing that reminds me that God is in full control of this situation is these emotions do not effect how I deal with Stephen -- PRAISE GOD! That was one of my biggest worries, to be honest. As you know, or might know, Stephen tends to be somewhat hyper, and trust me, this weekend it was all day both days. However, other than the regular discipline, I never felt the need to just "walk away" because of anger. All I really wanted to do was just sit around and hold him, but because of his "moods," he wasn't up for much of that :(
Despite Stephen's moods, this weekend ended up being AWESOME and so productive for us! We cleaned most of the house on Friday evening so we didn't really have to worry about that on Saturday.
Saturday, I made a Buzz Lightyear cake and cupcakes for some friends' son's birthday. I think it turned out quite well. While I was decorating, Todd took Stephen for his first summer haircut of the year. I am extremely surprised that Todd and I haven't resorted to the old way of doing dreadful things by pulling straws, but because I was busy, Todd gave in and took him. Haircuts are a HUGE ordeal in the Taylor household...Stephen H.A.T.E.S. to have his haircut! This process normally takes Stephen's poor hairdresser (Rachel) at least an hour, if not sometimes a little longer. So, I was expecting to be completely finished decorating when they returned. Oh was I wrong! They were home within an hour of leaving the house...yes, even with a haircut. Probably the.best haircut EVER to date! It looks awesome! Thanks again Rachel! You are my hero!
That didn't end up being the only thing that happened to Stephen that evening. He lost his first tooth. Yes, my baby is not really a baby anymore (although he will always be MY baby). His tooth has been loose for quite some time, and we have been talking to him about pulling it, but no. Luckily, daddy had bought him a helium filled balloon on a ribbon, and he was running the ribbon through his teeth. BINGO! The tooth popped out! Yay! And talk about inflation...the tooth fairy paid him a visit and left a whole whopping $5. Yes, you read that correctly. $5! What ever happened to the quarter, or the dollar? Wow! I think we were jipped!
We ended the weekend with a GREAT day! Started the day out delivering the cakes, then off to Sunday School and morning service. We had to leave a little early to head to Nitro to make a geocaching presentation to some girl scouts. It was already warming up, so we decided to take the girls on a quick adventure. It was so fun, and I am pretty sure they enjoyed themselves!
Then we were off to see Stephen's Grammy. This is Todd's mommaw, but Stephen calls her "Grammy" and loves her soooooo much! That was a great visit.
Since we were out most of the afternoon, we decided just to run around until time to return to church. Todd and Stephen dropped me off at Michael's, and they headed to Toys R Us. That meant that I had some great time to actually look around, because I really wasn't sure what I wanted to get into as my Spring hobby. Just to let you know, I chose to pick back up in reverse charcoal and dabble in watercolor pencils! I am too excited!
And then the devil creeped in. Of course, on an absolutely perfect day, he had to rear his ugly head! We got to church, and everything was great. However, we were supposed to have Easter Cantata practice immediately after, but guess what??? I forgot the CD! Ugh! How could I possibly do that? I felt like I had let the entire choir down. The cantata consists of seven songs, five of which we basically have already sang and know, but there are two that really need work. That is okay...THE DEVIL WILL NOT DEFEAT OUR AWESOME CHOIR! Do you hear me devil??? Loud and clear! This cantata is going to be something extremely special, and I cannot wait! I am hoping we have a church full of sinners that morning, because all of the songs will truly get them thinking! Easter is such a time to rejoice and brag about what the Lord has done for us! So, I refuse to let the devil ruin this opportunity to reach out to our lost loved ones! We will practice a few more times, and we will rebuke that ole devil! Praise be to God!
Anyway, it is nice to be back on here! I hope everyone has a blessed week!
First, an update on the Lupron since I gave it so much hype before I started it, and haven't mentioned it since. I think that might be a blessing, because it hasn't been too bad yet. Not that I haven't had my moments, and I must remember, I am only two weeks into it.
The sides effects I have had so far include very brief hot flashes - which mostly occur during the morning as I am getting ready for work. I have had others throughout the day, but they come and go very quickly. And then there is the moodiness! Yikes. I really can't brag about not being moody (trust me, ask Todd). I only pray that deep down, Todd has some level of understanding. I can just be trolling along, happy as can be, and then *snap*, I feel like I could literally rip someones head off! And just as fast as it comes, it goes. THANK GOD!
Another thing that reminds me that God is in full control of this situation is these emotions do not effect how I deal with Stephen -- PRAISE GOD! That was one of my biggest worries, to be honest. As you know, or might know, Stephen tends to be somewhat hyper, and trust me, this weekend it was all day both days. However, other than the regular discipline, I never felt the need to just "walk away" because of anger. All I really wanted to do was just sit around and hold him, but because of his "moods," he wasn't up for much of that :(
Despite Stephen's moods, this weekend ended up being AWESOME and so productive for us! We cleaned most of the house on Friday evening so we didn't really have to worry about that on Saturday.
Saturday, I made a Buzz Lightyear cake and cupcakes for some friends' son's birthday. I think it turned out quite well. While I was decorating, Todd took Stephen for his first summer haircut of the year. I am extremely surprised that Todd and I haven't resorted to the old way of doing dreadful things by pulling straws, but because I was busy, Todd gave in and took him. Haircuts are a HUGE ordeal in the Taylor household...Stephen H.A.T.E.S. to have his haircut! This process normally takes Stephen's poor hairdresser (Rachel) at least an hour, if not sometimes a little longer. So, I was expecting to be completely finished decorating when they returned. Oh was I wrong! They were home within an hour of leaving the house...yes, even with a haircut. Probably the.best haircut EVER to date! It looks awesome! Thanks again Rachel! You are my hero!
That didn't end up being the only thing that happened to Stephen that evening. He lost his first tooth. Yes, my baby is not really a baby anymore (although he will always be MY baby). His tooth has been loose for quite some time, and we have been talking to him about pulling it, but no. Luckily, daddy had bought him a helium filled balloon on a ribbon, and he was running the ribbon through his teeth. BINGO! The tooth popped out! Yay! And talk about inflation...the tooth fairy paid him a visit and left a whole whopping $5. Yes, you read that correctly. $5! What ever happened to the quarter, or the dollar? Wow! I think we were jipped!
We ended the weekend with a GREAT day! Started the day out delivering the cakes, then off to Sunday School and morning service. We had to leave a little early to head to Nitro to make a geocaching presentation to some girl scouts. It was already warming up, so we decided to take the girls on a quick adventure. It was so fun, and I am pretty sure they enjoyed themselves!
Then we were off to see Stephen's Grammy. This is Todd's mommaw, but Stephen calls her "Grammy" and loves her soooooo much! That was a great visit.
Since we were out most of the afternoon, we decided just to run around until time to return to church. Todd and Stephen dropped me off at Michael's, and they headed to Toys R Us. That meant that I had some great time to actually look around, because I really wasn't sure what I wanted to get into as my Spring hobby. Just to let you know, I chose to pick back up in reverse charcoal and dabble in watercolor pencils! I am too excited!
And then the devil creeped in. Of course, on an absolutely perfect day, he had to rear his ugly head! We got to church, and everything was great. However, we were supposed to have Easter Cantata practice immediately after, but guess what??? I forgot the CD! Ugh! How could I possibly do that? I felt like I had let the entire choir down. The cantata consists of seven songs, five of which we basically have already sang and know, but there are two that really need work. That is okay...THE DEVIL WILL NOT DEFEAT OUR AWESOME CHOIR! Do you hear me devil??? Loud and clear! This cantata is going to be something extremely special, and I cannot wait! I am hoping we have a church full of sinners that morning, because all of the songs will truly get them thinking! Easter is such a time to rejoice and brag about what the Lord has done for us! So, I refuse to let the devil ruin this opportunity to reach out to our lost loved ones! We will practice a few more times, and we will rebuke that ole devil! Praise be to God!
Anyway, it is nice to be back on here! I hope everyone has a blessed week!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
A huge THANK YOU...
Just a quick entry to send a very big thank you to one of my dearest friends Tonia, www.thehillbillychicks.blogspot.com, for creating my new and much improved page design! I love it! You are great! <3
Monday, March 21, 2011
My Loves, My Life, and a Great Weekend...
We had a great weekend at the Taylor household! Friday night, we started out at Stephen's first t-ball meeting. We cannot wait until this starts! I really feel like he is going to enjoy himself, plus burn off some of that insane energy he has.
Saturday, we had a fun-filled day. Stephen and I got up at 10:30 am, made cinnamon rolls (yummy), and just lounged around for a couple of hours. My mom has been sick a lot lately, and just feeling a bit down, so I wanted to take her out with us for the wonderful sunshiny day. I was so happy when she agreed to go with us!
Sunday was filled with church, Stephen, and more church! Two great services, plus Easter Cantata practice. What an incredible way to spend my Sunday!
Stephen playing outside waiting for the meeting to start.
Saturday, we had a fun-filled day. Stephen and I got up at 10:30 am, made cinnamon rolls (yummy), and just lounged around for a couple of hours. My mom has been sick a lot lately, and just feeling a bit down, so I wanted to take her out with us for the wonderful sunshiny day. I was so happy when she agreed to go with us!
Our first stop on the adventure included a tour for the three of us at daddy's work! Wow! Simply amazing. We had so much fun with him, and Stephen was in awe. We all got to wear hard hats, safety glasses, and ear plugs. Stephen even got his own flashlight (like daddy) to carry around. Brought back memories for mom working in the power plant.
Stephen, Mom and I in our safety gear!
Stephen and his daddy inside the plant!
We ended the day at Stephens' cousin's birthday party. Stephen had an amazing time, and the weather was completely awesome! The kids played outside the entire time, and I got to hold our newest blessing from God - my cousin's new baby! He is certainly sent directly from Heaven, and his parents are the best, most selfless people I have ever met. I love and respect you guys more than words!
Mom, Stephen, and Ally!
Sunday was filled with church, Stephen, and more church! Two great services, plus Easter Cantata practice. What an incredible way to spend my Sunday!
I love my family more than words! God has truly blessed me more than I deserve!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Look our world, here comes Lupron Robin...
**Caution guys, this post is pretty female related, and probably going to be filled with TMI. ;) Read with your own discretion, or choose to close your browser now!
Over the years, I have had many struggles with the inner workings of being a female (if you catch my drift). As I get older, it only seems to get worse, but I have also gained enough knowledge about the situation, that now most of the things that have occurred in my day to day physical and mental health make sense. It all ties together.
From the start (maybe no pun intended), I had a horribly painful and irregular menstrual period. My mom used to say, "I worry that you will never be able to conceive." That was always in the back of my mind, but I never dwelt on it, because goodness, everyone I ever knew was able to just get pregnant so very easy, why couldn't I?
During my first union, we tried to have a baby. Well, let's just say like always, God was in full control, and thankfully, that never happened. When I married Todd, we started trying to have a child right away, and it finally happened...on our third anniversary! Our miracle! Like I said before, God was in full control, but it all made sense...God created me, and knew before that that I would have problems conceiving. It was all in His time!
During the time of trying, I seemed to always have something going on down there. My ob/gyn office always seemed to call with a bad test result, and I would end up on the biopsy table and in complete agony if only for a few minutes, to find that everything was okay. (Again, thank God!)
For about three years after the pregnancy and birth, my cycle seemed to self-correct. Ahhh! It was awesome! And then came the great age of 35! Boy did that wreak havoc on my system for some reason!
Last June, I had had enough! I went for a checkup because of the problem. My ob/gyn again did the dreaded biopsy, and the results were normal (still thanking God!). However, because of my age now, he decided it was time for a laparoscopy, hystercopy, and d and c. Not a big deal at all. The results of that weren't so normal. It showed what I have known for quite some time...endometriosis. This is quite common, but good grief, extremely unpleasant over time. He scraped a bunch out during this procedure, but also was unable to get most of it, because it has adhered to my intestines/bowel area.
This diagnosis sent me in a complete different direction. It resulted in a colonoscopy to make sure that there were no permanent "restrictions" to by intestines, and to make sure that it wasn't something other than endo. Nope. I am fine on that end (again, maybe no pun intended).
Therefore, that left me with two options:
1. Lupron Depot for six months; or
2. Hysterectomy
Because of my age, my doctor doesn't want to consider a hysterectomy unless it is ABSOLUTELY required. The good news is, Lupron is supposed to completely reverse the endo! Yay! The bad news (kind of) is it will throw me into menopause for six months. Yipee!
For some reason, maybe because I am strange -- or deranged, I am excited about this! Well, I guess for the obvious reasons! I know every single woman reading this understands just what I mean. On the other hand, I am a little nervous as to what it is going to do to me.
So, take this post as a warning. I will be documenting my six month journey on here! :) You might want to have your body armour on when you log on from time to time. Between the mood swings, hot flashes, and crying spells, it is extremely hard for me to predict what my posts will consist of. Use extreme caution!! LOL!
Over the years, I have had many struggles with the inner workings of being a female (if you catch my drift). As I get older, it only seems to get worse, but I have also gained enough knowledge about the situation, that now most of the things that have occurred in my day to day physical and mental health make sense. It all ties together.
From the start (maybe no pun intended), I had a horribly painful and irregular menstrual period. My mom used to say, "I worry that you will never be able to conceive." That was always in the back of my mind, but I never dwelt on it, because goodness, everyone I ever knew was able to just get pregnant so very easy, why couldn't I?
During my first union, we tried to have a baby. Well, let's just say like always, God was in full control, and thankfully, that never happened. When I married Todd, we started trying to have a child right away, and it finally happened...on our third anniversary! Our miracle! Like I said before, God was in full control, but it all made sense...God created me, and knew before that that I would have problems conceiving. It was all in His time!
During the time of trying, I seemed to always have something going on down there. My ob/gyn office always seemed to call with a bad test result, and I would end up on the biopsy table and in complete agony if only for a few minutes, to find that everything was okay. (Again, thank God!)
For about three years after the pregnancy and birth, my cycle seemed to self-correct. Ahhh! It was awesome! And then came the great age of 35! Boy did that wreak havoc on my system for some reason!
Last June, I had had enough! I went for a checkup because of the problem. My ob/gyn again did the dreaded biopsy, and the results were normal (still thanking God!). However, because of my age now, he decided it was time for a laparoscopy, hystercopy, and d and c. Not a big deal at all. The results of that weren't so normal. It showed what I have known for quite some time...endometriosis. This is quite common, but good grief, extremely unpleasant over time. He scraped a bunch out during this procedure, but also was unable to get most of it, because it has adhered to my intestines/bowel area.
This diagnosis sent me in a complete different direction. It resulted in a colonoscopy to make sure that there were no permanent "restrictions" to by intestines, and to make sure that it wasn't something other than endo. Nope. I am fine on that end (again, maybe no pun intended).
Therefore, that left me with two options:
1. Lupron Depot for six months; or
2. Hysterectomy
Because of my age, my doctor doesn't want to consider a hysterectomy unless it is ABSOLUTELY required. The good news is, Lupron is supposed to completely reverse the endo! Yay! The bad news (kind of) is it will throw me into menopause for six months. Yipee!
For some reason, maybe because I am strange -- or deranged, I am excited about this! Well, I guess for the obvious reasons! I know every single woman reading this understands just what I mean. On the other hand, I am a little nervous as to what it is going to do to me.
So, take this post as a warning. I will be documenting my six month journey on here! :) You might want to have your body armour on when you log on from time to time. Between the mood swings, hot flashes, and crying spells, it is extremely hard for me to predict what my posts will consist of. Use extreme caution!! LOL!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sound of Your Voice...
Last week, I totally felt like my husband proposed to me again when he said, "will you sing a song with me at church?" You will never completely understand the feelings that stirred in me! He is an amazing singer, and I am not - maybe okay - maybe par. So, for him to ask me to do this was HUGE in my book!
Without hesitation, I said yes. Then, I thought, hmmm, what song does he have in mind. He has recently found a new favorite group, Third Day (contemporary christian). To my surprise, and because deep down he really knew I would jump at the chance to sing with him, he had already purchased the track and the track with the background vocals of a song by this group called "Sound of Your Voice."
After my answer, I quickly told him to remember that I do not sing harmony. You see, I love LOVE to sing, but much like my speaking voice, I am loud, and can only sing lead. He explained to me that the track he purchased was straight from Third Day which meant that the one with the background vocals was the actual song - not some re-recorded stuff like most tracks. He said that all I needed was to listen to and learn the background and everything would be fine.
He loaded it on my phone, and that night, I was up until about 2:00 am listening to it, and praying that God would make a way for me to sing this with my husband. Since then, I have probably practiced it every bit of 500 times alone in my car.
This past weekend was one of Todd's two weekends a month to be at church because of his work schedule. So, as I was cooking lunch, I asked him when he had planned on us singing. He didn't really comment, so I figured he just wasn't ready. Wrong! He burned the track to a CD, and we sang it...in church...together! I really can't judge what we sounded like, and how well it was received (since it was contemporary), but I can say that God was in it, and we were making a joyful noise, and the message of this song is incredible.
Wow! Isn't that the truth? We all need to slow down a little and listen to His voice. That sweet, sweet voice that it is. If we would all do that more often, maybe we would find some peace and mercy in our lives!
~Thank you Todd for allowing me to stand by your side and sing this awesome song with you. I love you!
Without hesitation, I said yes. Then, I thought, hmmm, what song does he have in mind. He has recently found a new favorite group, Third Day (contemporary christian). To my surprise, and because deep down he really knew I would jump at the chance to sing with him, he had already purchased the track and the track with the background vocals of a song by this group called "Sound of Your Voice."
After my answer, I quickly told him to remember that I do not sing harmony. You see, I love LOVE to sing, but much like my speaking voice, I am loud, and can only sing lead. He explained to me that the track he purchased was straight from Third Day which meant that the one with the background vocals was the actual song - not some re-recorded stuff like most tracks. He said that all I needed was to listen to and learn the background and everything would be fine.
He loaded it on my phone, and that night, I was up until about 2:00 am listening to it, and praying that God would make a way for me to sing this with my husband. Since then, I have probably practiced it every bit of 500 times alone in my car.
This past weekend was one of Todd's two weekends a month to be at church because of his work schedule. So, as I was cooking lunch, I asked him when he had planned on us singing. He didn't really comment, so I figured he just wasn't ready. Wrong! He burned the track to a CD, and we sang it...in church...together! I really can't judge what we sounded like, and how well it was received (since it was contemporary), but I can say that God was in it, and we were making a joyful noise, and the message of this song is incredible.
Sound of Your Voice
Third Day
I ran away from your love
But you waited for me
Yes you waited for me
And then I heard your song
Singing over me
Singing over me
Now that I hear you, Lord
I want to know you more
I want to know you more
Sing your song for me
Oh there's no greater thing
Than to listen to the sound of your voice
When I hear your song
I want to sing along
And listen to the sound of your voice
The sound of your voice
Lord I am calling your name
And I'm waiting for you
Yes I'm waiting for you
So won't you show me your way
And I will follow you
Yes I will follow you
Now that I hear you Lord
I want to know you more
I want to know you more
Sing your song for me
Oh there's no greater thing
Than to listen to the sound of your voice
When I hear your song
I want to sing along
And listen to the sound of your voice
Singing over me
Bringing peace and mercy
With a song that never ends
Singing over me
Marvelous and Holy
Lord I want to hear your song again
Sing your song for me
Oh there's no greater thing
Than to listen to the sound of your voice
When I hear your song
I want to sing along
And listen to the sound of your voice
Wow! Isn't that the truth? We all need to slow down a little and listen to His voice. That sweet, sweet voice that it is. If we would all do that more often, maybe we would find some peace and mercy in our lives!
~Thank you Todd for allowing me to stand by your side and sing this awesome song with you. I love you!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Dreams and a broken heart...
Well, I have put this off for a couple of days, but for some reason, I cannot fight the desire to post it.
First, I will start with a little background. All my life, it has always just been my mom an me. And believe me, that has always been great! My mom has always been my rock, my mom, my dad, and my best friend. I wouldn't change that for anything! Let's just say God doesn't make mistakes!
What has always been absent in my life was a dad. I never really noticed as I was growing up because I was also blessed with seven of the best uncles in the entire world! So it is not like I was "missing" a dad, like I said, one was just absent.
And then one day I learned who my "dad" was, and that we actually lived pretty close in proximity, therefore making me wonder about things I wasn't experiencing. But back then, those thoughts only came when I saw him passing by in his truck. About the time I entered high school, he moved about 40 minutes away, so those thoughts faded over the years.
A couple of years ago, he moved back into very close proximity. And guess what, those thoughts rushed back like a flooding river. Only this time, I am a mature adult, and can think of a lot more things...why does he refuse to claim me, why doesn't he want to get to know me, how could someone actually ignore the fact that they have another child out there that they don't know the first thing about?
Then, tragedy struck my family with the passing of my uncle in the UBB mine disaster. During his funeral and memorial service, something that I realized I had longed for for many years happened - he hugged me!! And we talked! For the first time, we truly talked! Not about "us," but that was ok. Because he still struggles with acknowledging that I am his daughter.
I really didn't expect anything to happen after that, and I am glad I didn't. Other than seeing him occasionally, and having those random hugs and brief conversations, we are back to the same scenario. And this leads me to my post.
For some reason, I find myself dreaming of him often. This has to tell me something...I dwell on it more than I allow myself to believe. But, this past Saturday night, I dreamed of him, and although they say that dreams only last minutes, this dream lasted what seemed like six hours!
I was at an event, and he showed up - not for me, but because it was a big celebration for something. When he saw me, he quickly came over to me, and we didn't really leave each other's side the entire time. He just kept hugging me (yes, back to the hugs), and talking about spending time with me. He was actually interested.
It came time for a race of antique cars, and he was driving one of them. He asked me if I wanted to ride with him, and as I was racing down to get in, they informed him that he had to drive solo. He won the race, and I could feel my heart explode with pride!
He quickly had to leave to return home, and did so without even saying bye. I was sad. But this guy approached me and said that my dad wanted him to bring me to his house. When I got there, for some reason, there were two very sick, elderly people there. A lady sitting in a chair, not even a part of this world any longer, and a man lying on a bed with no legs, and on oxygen. Odd (but that is common for my dreams). I realized that my dad took care of these people, and they were family, but I wasn't sure who they were.
I really didn't even know why he wanted me there, because he was not even in the room that I was led into. So I started walking around, and overheard my dad telling someone in the kitchen that this cake had to be perfect, because he was trying to make up for all of the birthdays that he had missed.
That was the end of my dream. I woke up. Sadly, it was one of those dreams that felt so real. I could literally feel the heaviness in my chest. And as you can tell, I still cannot forget not even a fraction of it. Maybe that is why I was led to post about it. Anyway, there is was.
Dreams like this, especially of him, hurt. Unfortunately, I am one of those that like people to like me. And it has been a lifelong struggle to understand why this man doesn't "like" me. It can't be because I am still angry. I believe I have gone through the grieving stage, and I am beyond the angriness I felt toward him as a young girl.
Because these things happen, and old wounds are open occasionally, I can tell that my strength in the Lord has grown so much over the past few years. Because even though he never wanted anything to do with me, I am beyond that. If he were to see me out tomorrow and ask if we could have a relationship, I would run right into his arms. Crazy - I know.
I will end this sad, depressing entry with something extremely important for you to realize, as I said earlier...
My mom has always been my rock, my mom, my dad, and my best friend. I wouldn't change that for anything! Let's just say God doesn't make mistakes! She raised me on her own, instilled an undescribably incredible work ethic into me, and has always been there for me no matter what! She is the most strong, incredible woman I have ever met. And I thank her for that!
Today is her birthday. I hope she has one of the best ones EVER! I love you Mom!!!!
These verses from Proverbs 31 sums up who she is in my sight:
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Blank...
Yep, my mind is blank! Probably because I am on some major cold meds these days! Stephen has been sick for a week, and with my million kisses a day, I guess it was inevitable that I get to share his cold. Oh well, every single little kiss makes it worth it!
Work has been insanley busy, and part of that is because I missed so much last week due to all of those stinkin' medical procedures and related illnesses, and then I was out Monday because of little man. Every time I feel like my head is emerging from the water, I seem to be swallowed back up. That is okay though, because I love what I do! How many people can actually say that?
Hey, did I mention, Spring is almost here?! Wow! The sun...Vitamin D! Maybe this will make us all feel a little better! I don't think I have ever seen soooo many sick people at one time. Yikes! If you are anything like me (a conspiracy theory person), you kinda wonder what in the world was released in the air and by whom.
I am sorry for the short post, but as I said, I have nothing! I will be back when I can bring you something with some substance. I just didn't want to live my blog out there for days without something new! :)
Work has been insanley busy, and part of that is because I missed so much last week due to all of those stinkin' medical procedures and related illnesses, and then I was out Monday because of little man. Every time I feel like my head is emerging from the water, I seem to be swallowed back up. That is okay though, because I love what I do! How many people can actually say that?
Hey, did I mention, Spring is almost here?! Wow! The sun...Vitamin D! Maybe this will make us all feel a little better! I don't think I have ever seen soooo many sick people at one time. Yikes! If you are anything like me (a conspiracy theory person), you kinda wonder what in the world was released in the air and by whom.
I am sorry for the short post, but as I said, I have nothing! I will be back when I can bring you something with some substance. I just didn't want to live my blog out there for days without something new! :)
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Building an Ark, and not because it is raining...
Have you ever noticed the closer you get to God, the more the devil throws in your way? Coincidence? I.don't.think.so! Remember everyone, satan is constantly lurking around, seeking whom he may devour!
Just an example of what I mean:
Last Sunday night, the Praisemen Trio were singing at our church. Our church has grown so much over the last few months, Sunday night, it all exploded! It was the absolute most spiritual service I have ever been! Oh my, I just cannot say how amazing it was! It was a song and praise AND altar service! I don't think there was one person who wanted it to end!
Since this awesome service, many of our church members have been stricken with illnesses. I know, I know, a lot of things are going around and this is cold and flu season. COME ON people, the devil not only got shoved out of the service that night, he got two major black eyes!!!! He was not happy!
Now, a personal example from my own week of horrors:
Monday for me was "prep" day for a colonoscopy! Ugh! But, it went alright. Tuesday I had to report for my test at 11:30 am. I was very punctual (yes, believe it or not). Todd drove me because of having to be put to sleep for the procedure (thank God). Well, we sat in the waiting room for what seemed hours, but was only for a little over an hour and 15 minutes. Usually, with procedures, when you get called back, they prep you and you go right into the procedure. Well, here is how it unfolded. They started my IV, but didn't start the fluids. There was already one lady back there in front of me, and they immediately brought another lady behind me. So, now we are all hooked up and ready to go. About 45 minutes later, without seeing anyone else, I start hearing rumblings by the nurses from behind the very tightly closed curtains..."where is he?" "is he even in the building?" "does he realize he still has three to go?" Wow! How long am I going to have to lay/sit here in this uncomfortable bed? Starving. Thirsty. Uncomfortable.
At that point, us three ladies started complaining to ourselves/ each other. Someone must have overheard us, so one of the ladies was checked on by a nurse. The nurse asked her if she could at least let this woman's driver know that she hadn't even yet been sent in for her procedure. OMGosh! Todd must think I died or something! Well, the nurse then peeked in at me and asked the same thing. She finally allowed Todd and the other person back to spend some time with us. Thirty minutes later, the nurse anethesist finally came to get me! Finally! They wheeled me into the room at 2:o2 pm.
The room was 66 degrees, I was freezing! But that was okay, this was all going to be over soon. Well, five minutes passed...15 minutes passed. One of the nurses was visibly getting frustrated, but I didn't say anything. Another nurse walked in, and I must have gave her a look, because she said "I am sorry, he is on the phone, but shouldn't be much longer." Okay. Well, he walked in at about 2:45 or so! I was about to flip my top, and of course, as mouthy as I am, I threw up my hands and said "well, it's about time." Half joking, half NOT! Well, the doc evidently didn't think I was funny. He began to raise his voice and tell me why he is so important, and that he has to take calls, and that if I wanted to blame someone, I needed to blame CAMC because they threw him off schedule first this that morning...I was devastated to say the least! He sat down and got right back onto a phone call while telling them to put me to sleep.
The next think I remember is waking up in recovery sobbing! I immediately told the nurse that I didn't want to see that man again. She said she would handle that and have someone else come in and give me my results. Again, okay. Well, the doc met her at the curtain, and she told him that I didn't want to see him. He would not listen to her, and opened my curtain. He apologized several times, although he was not sincere in the least. He gave me my results (which were perfectly normal), and I did quit crying long enough to say one more thing to him..."I know you have probably had a bad day, BUT SO HAVE I!"
Wednesday, still feeling the effects of the prep, I had another doctor's appt. with a different doctor. Thinking I was just going for a consultation about placing me on Lupron for 6 months, I arrive to be placed into an examination room. "I am just here for a consultation about medicine," I said. "No, we have you on schedule for your annual." "Excuse me?" "Dr. XXX is in an emergency c-section right now, but if you want to wait, you can. Um, yeah. This is my fourth visit back to this office since December 2, and I am not leaving without scheduling this stinkin' medicine! Wow, can this week get any worse...oh, should I not have asked that?! Since this is getting pretty long already, I will give you the reader's digest version of this story - I didn't get to see the doc, but was fine with seeing his PA, and left with them having ordered my Lupron.
I get to work after leaving that appointment, and I notice my stomach is still feeling really rough. But I have a lot of work to do, plus a presentation to make at 2:00. I was afraid to eat lunch because of the way I was feeling, so I had some yogurt. I then left for my presentation, and just kept feeling weaker an weaker. By the time my part was over, I felt like I almost needed to crawl back to my car. I cried the entire way walking out. Hmmm, better go on home.
Got home and realized I had a fever, and started to panic a little. Fever + severe aching + severe cramping + colonoscopy the previous day = something majorly wrong! And of course, it is all happening on Wednesday...a church night.
I ended up at the emergency room, being ran through the gamut, to find out the two things I already knew - dehydrated and full of air. Praise God it wasn't anything else serious! You know, it could have been a lot worse, but God was with me even though the devil was trying to fight me!
Took Thursday off to recuperate, and Stephen started getting sick last night! Yikes, what more devil? YOU WILL NOT DEFEAT ME! Get that through your thick skull!
And finally, today. Ahhhh, Friday. I woke up feeling a lot better, but with a major headache. Uh oh, (since I have been so candid about the rest of my week), my other female problem happened. What better way to end a horrible week? But again, satan is not going to get the best of me!
So, there are some major (and lengthy) examples of how the devil creeps in and tries to destroy anything good. This happens on a daily basis if you allow it. Always remember that he is out there, constantly looking.
This leads me to the title of this entry...Building an Ark. For some months now, our preacher has been telling us that God is laying it on his heart that our church needs to "Build an Ark." Not in the literal sense of Noah, but fully relying on God and coming together in "one mind.one accord" so that we can reach the lost. Folks, truth is, time here on earth is drawing nigh, and we all need to be in this mind set. We all need to be faithful, serve God completely, and reach out to all of those who need Him as their personal savior.
This church service that started the devil out on his rampage was just the beginning. Huge things are happening in our church, and I hope they are the same in all of the other churches. We need to be looking up, because this world is waxing worse by the minute!
I am not upset because the devil tried to work on me this week. I am blessed to know that I gave him a reason to feel threatened!
If you are a Christian, and are going through struggles, look up, pray up, and relief will come!
Just an example of what I mean:
Last Sunday night, the Praisemen Trio were singing at our church. Our church has grown so much over the last few months, Sunday night, it all exploded! It was the absolute most spiritual service I have ever been! Oh my, I just cannot say how amazing it was! It was a song and praise AND altar service! I don't think there was one person who wanted it to end!
Since this awesome service, many of our church members have been stricken with illnesses. I know, I know, a lot of things are going around and this is cold and flu season. COME ON people, the devil not only got shoved out of the service that night, he got two major black eyes!!!! He was not happy!
Now, a personal example from my own week of horrors:
Monday for me was "prep" day for a colonoscopy! Ugh! But, it went alright. Tuesday I had to report for my test at 11:30 am. I was very punctual (yes, believe it or not). Todd drove me because of having to be put to sleep for the procedure (thank God). Well, we sat in the waiting room for what seemed hours, but was only for a little over an hour and 15 minutes. Usually, with procedures, when you get called back, they prep you and you go right into the procedure. Well, here is how it unfolded. They started my IV, but didn't start the fluids. There was already one lady back there in front of me, and they immediately brought another lady behind me. So, now we are all hooked up and ready to go. About 45 minutes later, without seeing anyone else, I start hearing rumblings by the nurses from behind the very tightly closed curtains..."where is he?" "is he even in the building?" "does he realize he still has three to go?" Wow! How long am I going to have to lay/sit here in this uncomfortable bed? Starving. Thirsty. Uncomfortable.
At that point, us three ladies started complaining to ourselves/ each other. Someone must have overheard us, so one of the ladies was checked on by a nurse. The nurse asked her if she could at least let this woman's driver know that she hadn't even yet been sent in for her procedure. OMGosh! Todd must think I died or something! Well, the nurse then peeked in at me and asked the same thing. She finally allowed Todd and the other person back to spend some time with us. Thirty minutes later, the nurse anethesist finally came to get me! Finally! They wheeled me into the room at 2:o2 pm.
The room was 66 degrees, I was freezing! But that was okay, this was all going to be over soon. Well, five minutes passed...15 minutes passed. One of the nurses was visibly getting frustrated, but I didn't say anything. Another nurse walked in, and I must have gave her a look, because she said "I am sorry, he is on the phone, but shouldn't be much longer." Okay. Well, he walked in at about 2:45 or so! I was about to flip my top, and of course, as mouthy as I am, I threw up my hands and said "well, it's about time." Half joking, half NOT! Well, the doc evidently didn't think I was funny. He began to raise his voice and tell me why he is so important, and that he has to take calls, and that if I wanted to blame someone, I needed to blame CAMC because they threw him off schedule first this that morning...I was devastated to say the least! He sat down and got right back onto a phone call while telling them to put me to sleep.
The next think I remember is waking up in recovery sobbing! I immediately told the nurse that I didn't want to see that man again. She said she would handle that and have someone else come in and give me my results. Again, okay. Well, the doc met her at the curtain, and she told him that I didn't want to see him. He would not listen to her, and opened my curtain. He apologized several times, although he was not sincere in the least. He gave me my results (which were perfectly normal), and I did quit crying long enough to say one more thing to him..."I know you have probably had a bad day, BUT SO HAVE I!"
Wednesday, still feeling the effects of the prep, I had another doctor's appt. with a different doctor. Thinking I was just going for a consultation about placing me on Lupron for 6 months, I arrive to be placed into an examination room. "I am just here for a consultation about medicine," I said. "No, we have you on schedule for your annual." "Excuse me?" "Dr. XXX is in an emergency c-section right now, but if you want to wait, you can. Um, yeah. This is my fourth visit back to this office since December 2, and I am not leaving without scheduling this stinkin' medicine! Wow, can this week get any worse...oh, should I not have asked that?! Since this is getting pretty long already, I will give you the reader's digest version of this story - I didn't get to see the doc, but was fine with seeing his PA, and left with them having ordered my Lupron.
I get to work after leaving that appointment, and I notice my stomach is still feeling really rough. But I have a lot of work to do, plus a presentation to make at 2:00. I was afraid to eat lunch because of the way I was feeling, so I had some yogurt. I then left for my presentation, and just kept feeling weaker an weaker. By the time my part was over, I felt like I almost needed to crawl back to my car. I cried the entire way walking out. Hmmm, better go on home.
Got home and realized I had a fever, and started to panic a little. Fever + severe aching + severe cramping + colonoscopy the previous day = something majorly wrong! And of course, it is all happening on Wednesday...a church night.
I ended up at the emergency room, being ran through the gamut, to find out the two things I already knew - dehydrated and full of air. Praise God it wasn't anything else serious! You know, it could have been a lot worse, but God was with me even though the devil was trying to fight me!
Took Thursday off to recuperate, and Stephen started getting sick last night! Yikes, what more devil? YOU WILL NOT DEFEAT ME! Get that through your thick skull!
And finally, today. Ahhhh, Friday. I woke up feeling a lot better, but with a major headache. Uh oh, (since I have been so candid about the rest of my week), my other female problem happened. What better way to end a horrible week? But again, satan is not going to get the best of me!
So, there are some major (and lengthy) examples of how the devil creeps in and tries to destroy anything good. This happens on a daily basis if you allow it. Always remember that he is out there, constantly looking.
This leads me to the title of this entry...Building an Ark. For some months now, our preacher has been telling us that God is laying it on his heart that our church needs to "Build an Ark." Not in the literal sense of Noah, but fully relying on God and coming together in "one mind.one accord" so that we can reach the lost. Folks, truth is, time here on earth is drawing nigh, and we all need to be in this mind set. We all need to be faithful, serve God completely, and reach out to all of those who need Him as their personal savior.
This church service that started the devil out on his rampage was just the beginning. Huge things are happening in our church, and I hope they are the same in all of the other churches. We need to be looking up, because this world is waxing worse by the minute!
I am not upset because the devil tried to work on me this week. I am blessed to know that I gave him a reason to feel threatened!
If you are a Christian, and are going through struggles, look up, pray up, and relief will come!
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