This weekend was filled with every emotion I think my body could muster! I was happy, sad, energetic, worn completely out, excited, angry, overwhelmed to the point I felt like I was going to burst, and nervous! That is a lot to handle in two days.
It amazes me how words can hurt to the point where you are scarred. Even if you are hit with a big stick, or give birth, the bruises go away, and thank God, he made our body's so that they could forget what the actual pain felt like. But words are so different!
I was told over the weekend that my child is a little wild. Well, OK, I know it is the truth, but hey, he is a boy for starters, and HE IS TWO YEARS OLD! Trust me, it is certainly not from a lack of discipline like so many people tend to think. Those who have been blessed with little angels need to realize that they have been blessed. And they also should not sit in judgment when they see other children who act up! It does not always mean that their parents are not doing the best that they can. Trust me, this comes from a lot of experience, and certainly a lot of tears!
But, what upset me so much was that for the first time, someone had the nerve to stop my mother from doing something because Stephen is a little on the wild side. I hate the thought of my mom not being able to do something because of my child. It really put into perspective for me that Stephen does get out of control sometimes. But once again, I am doing all I know to do, other than beating him black and blue :) He is just a free spirit that does not like to be held captive. I guess you could say I had a little reality check over the weekend.
And now, I have to give God glory! I decided (or thought I decided) that I needed to leave our church and find a church that offered a classroom for children Stephen's age, because I truly feel like I have exhausted all other aspects. Well, we all know what happens when we try to "do things" on our own without consulting God -- big mistake! God saw this coming and arranged for our church to find a minister to lead our church like we have never been led before. At least five people called me yesterday after Sunday School to give me encouragement. They all said the very same things - and offered to help me with Stephen at church. How awesome! My God has a way of dealing with my heart. I love our church, and I am so blessed to have such a wonderful church family!
Then, we go to church last night, the service started great, what a sweet spirit was there. And then my dear friend, the one that I took out my anger on, was very burdened, and tried to sing a song because that is what God told her to do. God told me to go up there with her and apologize. People gathered around the alter to pray for strength for her, and I finished the song with her. What a feeling came over me! What a peace I felt. The spirit of the Lord was certainly at work! God is good...ALL the time!
Our pastor said something to me that really sunk in yesterday, and then something different, but the same last night. He said (paraphrasing) ...if you leave a church and start visiting other churches because that is what you want to do, you will never feel at home. And then last night, to go along with that, he said that we need to let Satan know that we are at our church to stay no matter what, and when we do that, great things will start happening. I believe it! And I can't wait!