No one ever told me that when you become an adult, as some point, you lose yourself, even if it is just for a little while. It is amazing how life can totally consume you, and you almost forget who you are. When I reach that point, like recently, I have to take a step beside myself and figure some things out. What needs to change here? How can I reprioritize and allow myself at least some down time?
(Disclaimer...this is a feel sorry for myself moment, venting time, self pitty party, call it what you will, but I need to get it out somehow. So, if you want to stop reading now, go ahead.)
I am so tired today I feel like I can barely hold my head up. I know everyone is busy these days, and I am not trying to say that I am busier than anyone else. I am not only physically exhausted, but mentally too! I work full time, which requires a lot of in-state travel, take on-line classes, teach some at church, have a wild baby boy, play host to Stephen's birth to three therapists and parents as teachers person, and Todd works a lot. I am in NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM, complaining about ANY of these things, but I am just tired. I guess what I am saying is I have no time for myself. Even when I go to the bathroom, either Stephen or Luci (my dog) is with me.
People tell me they don't understand how I do it all, but I say that I have to. And I do. First, there is nothing on that list that I can give up, and, there is nothing on that list that I WANT to give up. I just need to come up with a plan to make things a little better. I need to take this to the Lord and allow Him to work it out for me. He can, and I know that!
For those of you who are still reading, I told you in my very first post that sometimes I would use this blog as a venting tool. Well, today I have. I hope you are not disappointed in me, but sometimes I just need to let it out.
Thanks for listening,