Monday, March 31, 2008

6 years ago today...

My grandmother graduated to be with her personal Lord and Saviour in a place that I can only dream about for now.

Until the last couple of years, it seemed like it just happened yesterday. But, so much has happened in my life over the past six years that it seems like she has been gone for decades. I think it is because there would be so much to share with her, it has all just stockpiled in my heart. Don't get me wrong, I still miss her tremendously, but know some day, maybe soon, maybe in years, I will see her again.

Some of the things I would share with her would be my love for God. She is the one that prayed me to the altar. Asking over and over to come to church with her and then saving me a seat beside her or near her. When she could, she would sing, testify, and I loved to hear her whisper her prayers. That meant more to me than anything in this world.

Next, I would share my love for my wonderful husband that God has blessed me with. She never really got to know him, unfortunately, but I am sure she is smiling down on us daily, because he is so good to me. He loves me. She would have really loved him, for who he is, and for how he looks at me.

Then, the best of my accomplishments over this six year period has been the birth of my amazing baby boy. It is not really my accomplishment, but God's. I can only thank God for lending Stephen to me for this brief time on earth. I can tell you now, though, he and mommaw would have been the best of friends! Mommaw loved babies, and Stephen is just a loverboy. I can close my eyes and imagine him running up to her recliner leaning over to kiss her. And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that she held him before I ever knew what he looked like. I swear, sometimes when he sees a picture of her, I see that light in his eyes. He already knows her.

I never want to fall short in remembering her. At times, it gets hard to remember her voice, but I can make myself if I take time. I remember the skin of her hands and arms. I used to sit and rub it and tell her it felt as soft as cotton and silk. She would laugh at me, but I loved it!

Most of all, I remember how much she loved me. For some reason, I could do no wrong. I loved her, too, probably more than she ever knew.

I look forward to the day that I can worship our God together with her again, but until then, I still ask, quite frequently, to God at night, to give her a big hug for me.

In loving memory,


Tonia said...

Oh my goodness, you've made me cry. Especially at "And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that she held him before I ever knew what he looked like."

I miss my great-grandma sis & dad the same way. I wish so many times that dad & Mike could have met. I know they would have developed an amazing friendship.

Praise God for memories & the comfort they can bring.

BEV said...

I cried,also. Everything you said is so true Robin. I know when Stephen looks at Mom's pictures on my bedroom wall and says Mommaw ,that he knows her and remembers her holding him before we knew him. That is the only way he would recognize the woman in the picture and he has looked at that and said Mommaw since he could say the wood. He would also stare at it before he could speak the word.I know Mom is in a better place but OH I MISS HER TOO !!

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